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The Gordon Ryan file

Every take, satire, and short we've published involving Gordon Ryan. Auto-curated.

20 ITEMS 11 NEWS7 SHORT1 SATIRE1 DIGEST

Jun 11, 2026

Ryan Hall Said MMA Is 'Better' Than BJJ — But Mighty Mouse Just Proved Why That Argument Misses the Point

When this went down recently—Ryan Hall made the rounds on Matt Serra's podcast on May 29, declaring that MMA is better than Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. He's not wrong, exactly.


Jun 10, 2026

Gordon Ryan Retired Four Months Ago. He'd Like to Tell You Who the Good UFC Grapplers Are Anyway.

Gordon Ryan can't train. His gut — destroyed by years of antibiotics fighting recurring staph infections — won't recover on any timeline he controls.


Jun 3, 2026

Craig Jones Called Gordon Ryan a 'Classic Right-Wing Grifter' in Playboy

When Craig Jones's Playboy interview hit the internet and started circulating through the BJJ community, it became clear that something had fundamentally shifted in how the sport's biggest personalities were choosing to speak about each other—and about the sport itself. The piece


Jun 3, 2026

ADCC 2026's Replacement Superfight — And How Gordon Ryan's Exit Left Kaynan Duarte and Yuri Simoes Fighting in His Shadow

When Gordon Ryan announced his retirement just months before what was supposed to be his ADCC superfight showcase, he left the organization with more than just an empty slot on the September card. He left a roadmap of his dismissals, and ADCC filled that superfight with the exact


Jun 2, 2026

Gordon Ryan Said He Was 'Retired.' Then He Kept Showing Up to the Mat—and the Camera Caught Him

About three weeks after Gordon Ryan posted his retirement announcement, footage started circulating that told a different story entirely. The timeline is worth unpacking, because it matters.


May 21, 2026

Gordon Ryan's New Gym Sold $20,000 Lifetime Memberships — Limited to Five People — While He's Retired

When you're the most dominant no-gi grappler of your generation but take an indefinite competition hiatus, what's your next move? If you're Gordon Ryan, you launch a gym with $20,000 lifetime memberships — and limit them to five people.


May 16, 2026

Gordon Ryan Posted About Hanging Politicians. Craig Jones Released His Wife's Arrest Footage and Sold the Merch.

Craig Jones just turned Gordon Ryan's wife's arrest into a merch drop. Backstory: Nathalia Santoro, Ryan's wife, was arrested in Texas last October after a high-speed police chase.

▸ SHORT
May 15, 2026

The Man Kaynan Duarte Couldn't Move — Gordon Ryan #Shorts

#BJJ #JiuJitsu #Shorts Kaynan Duarte is a two-time ADCC champion who moves giants. Against Gordon Ryan, he tried everything. Gordon didn't move. #Grappling #MartialArts


May 13, 2026

Gordon Ryan Doesn't Respect the Superfight He Vacated — Now Questioning Duarte's Right to Hold It

Gordon Ryan vacated the ADCC Superfight title in February 2026. He's spent the time since explaining why Kaynan Duarte doesn't deserve it.


May 13, 2026

ADCC's Answer to 63% Empty Seats Is a 2019 Rematch — Gordon Ryan Already Calling It a Consolation Prize

Sixty-three percent of the seats in Tauron Arena are currently empty. That's the actual math.


May 9, 2026

Buchecha Is 0-2-1 In the UFC. Ryan Spann Knocked Him Out In Round Two. The Kindest Outcome Is a Quiet Exit.

Ryan Spann gave himself a C+ for the night he knocked Buchecha out. Not a knock on Spann's honesty — he collected a $100,000 Performance of the Night bonus and left the cage thinking he could've done better.

▸ SHORT
May 1, 2026

Gordon Ryan Posts About Hangings, Silent on Wife's Arrests #Shorts

#BJJ #JiuJitsu #Shorts Gordon Ryan's been posting all week — hangings, taxes, politics. The one thing his feed won't touch is his wife's two Texas arrests. Sources: - Gordon Ryan Stays Silent On Wife's Arrest, Chooses Politics — BJJEE: https://www.bjjee.com/articles/gordon-ryan

▸ SHORT
Apr 30, 2026

Bernardo Faria Says UFC Rules Are Why BJJ Legends #Shorts

#BJJ #JiuJitsu #Shorts Bernardo Faria says UFC rules and late starts explain why Buchecha and Vieira lost at UFC Vegas 116. The defense is mostly right. The fights mostly weren't about that. Sources: - Bernardo Faria Explains Why Moving From Elite BJJ To MMA Is So Difficult: ht

▸ SHORT
Apr 26, 2026

BJJEE's 'How To Spot A PED User' Is A 2014 Reprint #Shorts

#BJJ #JiuJitsu #Shorts BJJEE just republished its 2014 PED-spotting guide under a new subhead. Eleven years, same checklist, nothing learned. Sources: - How To Spot a PED User in Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu: The Signs No One Talks About — BJJEE (April 17, 2026): https://www.bjjee.com/a

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Apr 24, 2026

Buchecha's Original UFC Vegas 116 Opponent Pulled #Shorts

#BJJ #JiuJitsu #Shorts Marcus 'Buchecha' Almeida's original UFC Vegas 116 opponent Max Gimenis pulled out. The UFC grabbed Ryan Spann, a light heavyweight, and moved him up. Buchecha walks in 0-1-1. Rodolfo Vieira is on the same card, buried on the prelims. Sources: - Marcus Al

▸ SHORT
Mar 31, 2026

Gordon Ryan Admits He Can"t Handle Gi Grips

#BJJ #JiuJitsu #Shorts Gordon Ryan just admitted on the Push Press BJJ podcast that he doesn"t know what to do when someone grabs his sleeves. The GOAT of no-gi... helpless in a gi. Sources: - Push Press BJJ Podcast - BJJEE #GordonRyan #NoGi #Grappling

▸ SHORT
Mar 31, 2026

Gordon Ryan: Guillotine Finishes More Than RNC #Shorts

Gordon Ryan says his high-wrist guillotine finishes more than his RNC. And the #1 progression killer? Boredom. Source: Push Press BJJ Podcast

▸ THEPORRA
Mar 19, 2026

Local Gym's No-Gi Class Is Just Seven Guys Who All Think They're Gordon Ryan

Everyone's doing the body lock pass. Nobody's hitting them. But everyone's trying them. From everywhere.


Mar 17, 2026

Claudia Gadelha Clarifies She Wasn't Talking About Gordon Ryan When She Said 'Gordon' By Name

▸ DIGEST
Mar 15, 2026

Gordon Ryan Retires at 30. Then the PED Bomb Dropped.

The GOAT walks away — and Tye Ruotolo says what everyone's thinking. Plus: Galvao returns to ATOS, Moura upsets Ffion Davies at UFC BJJ 6, and Covington vs Danis is somehow real. IBJJF Pans start March 24th — the first Grand Slam of the year. Sources: - Grappling Insider: https:

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